Due...And Then Some

July 20^th was my “original” due date, based upon my own calculations. I knew when we conceived exactly, down to the very day, because I had been watching my temperatures, charting my mucus, and timing our intercourse precisely. At 14 weeks pregnant I had an ultrasound that dated me a week behind. According to the ultrasound, I was only 13 weeks pregnant, and not due until July 28^th. Stubbornly, I ignored that advice, and kept my original due date.

When July 20^th came and went, we were all patient. My mother the midwife calmly explained that I was a “Prim-ep”, a first time mother, and it was normal for first timers to go a week or two overdue. When July 28^th came and went, I still felt patient. Ty and I played Texas Hold’em every night, just the two of us, with two other ghost players. I sat on my yoga ball and rolled around on it, hoping to loosen my hips bones.

Ty’s birthday is August 2^nd, and I began to fantasize that I would have this baby on his birthday. His birthday arrived, and in my haste to start labor, I failed to remember to bake him a cake. It was his 40^th birthday to boot, and when labor did not start and I did not present a cake, he felt neglected and unimportant. I tried to make it up to him by offering sex, to which he eyeballed my swollen frame, a wife he barely recognized, and politely refused.

Ok, my next goal was to go into labor on his mother’s birthday, which was August 9^th. By now I was well over 2 weeks overdue, and after a consultation with the midwives, we all agreed that the early ultrasound’s due date of July 28^th was most likely correct, so now I was only a week overdue again. At this point I was beginning to feel frustrated. People all around me were having their babies, why was mine being so stubborn? August 9^th crept forward, and passed us by without so much as a courteous contraction. I researched old wives' tales on natural induction...